“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world, strive to build your own.”
Bianca Sparacino, Seeds Planted in Concrete
This finding myself and getting to know myself is a roller coaster journey for sure. It is not a once found always known and never lost scenario.
Feeling lost and feeling found is a spectrum for me. Some days I feel more found than lost, some days I feel more lost than found and sometimes I am in the middle, just going about my day. I have days when I feel fully me and some days when I feel like scream “Who on earth is this person and where is Gillian?”. This is how it goes and how it should be – for me, because it is in these more obviously polarized times that I learn so much about myself. I learn more about what brings me joy, what is important and meaningful to me, what I value and hold dear. What I love. What I don’t like and what I want nothing to do with. What is hurtful and what makes me feel heavy hearted. What makes me sink and what makes me soar and what it is to gently and beautifully ride the wind.
Sinking, soaring and riding the wind are all opportunities and possibilities for me to see more of me and learn more about me.
I have always had these experiences, we all do, this is what living is about. It is awareness that makes the difference. It was awareness that was my first step. When we become aware of all of ourselves, our body, mind, heart and soul we show up slightly differently. We see and experience life and ourselves in the world slightly differently.
Being aware and attuned to our whole selves we can recognise the emotions in our heart, the felt sensations in the body, the workings of the mind and the stirring in the soul when sinking, when soaring and when riding the wind. When we are aware and recognize the direction, we are going in, we are able to embrace whatever is coming our way, watch it and give ourselves whatever care is needed whether this is doing a dance of joy with a friend or being in silence with oneself or simply slowing down and breathing deeper in a meeting.
If awareness is the first step, curiosity is necessary for the continued journey towards ourselves and our personal growth. If we can cultivate curiosity and compassion for ourselves in our sinking, soaring and riding the wind and how these show up in our heart, body, mind and soul we will discovery, we will grow, we will be more open and available in kindness to ourselves and with kindness towards others.
How does soaring, sinking and riding the wind show up for you? What do they feel like? Are they a tingling in your toes or a quiet buzz in your ear? How might you stay curious with what is showing up and watch it and learn about yourself with compassion?